I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
