You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
