none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I want to make a zoo with you.
i barfeds in our rink
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
