kristin has been a bad kristin
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
