Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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