woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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