my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
