i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
