i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
