this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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