Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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