You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
