she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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