You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
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