Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
