So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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