It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
