What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
