I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
