ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The struggles of a small town man whore
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
