guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
These tits shall not be calmed
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
