# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
