Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
True strength comes from lack of pants
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
