Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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