If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
