I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
