Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
