We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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