why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
