She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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