dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
