theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize