This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
