nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize