Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
