We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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