everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
