I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
