If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
