the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
