4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
