she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You pole danced in your parka.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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