Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
