Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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