how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
