I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
