If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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