I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
she peed on how many people?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
