And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize