I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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