I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
