What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
