I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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