Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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