I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
