I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize