I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
where are you?
Hypothermia
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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