whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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