Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
