i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
