Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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