That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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