Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
