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She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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